Spring Break
Watch out for thieves
dressed in fluffy white robes
Colleen Watson
Issue date: 4/7/08 Section: Opinion
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So how did I repay this establishment that not only brought me extra tea packets but also made me reservations for a swanky little restaurant?
I cleaned out the room of basically everything that wasn't nailed down. Sure, I have toilet paper at home, but this roll was free.
I'm a thief dressed not in black, but a fluffy white robe easily 10 sizes too big for me, who also cranks up the heat because I'm not paying the electricity bill.
Talking to friends, I realize that I'm not the only one who does this.
Apparently, there are two types of miscreants in this world: those who take all of the complimentary items from a hotel (and maybe the maid's cart if it is nearby) and those who feel the need to pick their nose in traffic (Dude, you are surrounded by windows; everyone can see you).
I don't know what it is, but when checkout comes around, I feel this overwhelming need for 2-ounce shampoos and conditioners. Sure, they smell kind of funky, and I could only use them for two days, but that is not the point. I need them.
A friend told me that his wife took beach towels from the hotel on their honeymoon. Of course, towels you will actually use again. This is not the case, however, with hotel matches - I don't smoke.
At one point, room service brought up four packets of tea because I had run out. My first thought was "Yay! Three extra ones I can bring home." Of course, these were special packets that only worked in the hotel's tea maker, but I didn't care.
Instead, I packed my bulging suitcase with any and all things that had a hotel emblem on them. Soap, lotion, Kleenex - I didn't discriminate.
I've rationalized this need for mini necessities as part of my survival instinct. If one day a nuclear holocaust/the rapture/zombie uprising occurs, I will be prepared.
Canned goods? Nope. Water to last for a few weeks? Nope. But 2-ounce body wash and matching lotion? Yep, the necessities.
I mean, who doesn't need a tiny sewing kit with thread that matches none of their clothing? Mix that with the bar of soap and a shoe polish cloth, and I'm pretty sure I can diffuse a ticking bomb.
My mom used to grab all the extra shampoo and conditioners as well, so maybe this trait isn't my fault. Maybe it's a genetic proclivity that I can't resist. Maybe it goes back to the earliest humans who used to keep little kittens in case they needed food later (signaling the inception of the house cat).
All I know is that I will never use this crap again. It adorns my medicine cabinet until it tumbles out, and I throw it away.
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