Spartan Daily - Serving San Jose State University since 1934

Issue date: 4/8/08 Section: Opinion

Kevin Rand

Goodbye, George W. Bush.

So long. Farewell. Arrivederci.

For all they've said you've done, your just due is coming.

Nine or so more months, and you're on your way.

So goodbye, Mr. Bush, and thank you.

Thank you for Dick Cheney. He was the strong, silent type.

"Speak softly, and carry a big stick." Indeed, he did.

Goodbye, Dick. We'll miss your smile.

Goodbye, weapons of mass destruction. You came and you went so fast that we never got a chance to see you. We'll find you someday. Until then, be good. Goodbye.

And terror alert levels red, orange, yellow, blue and green, how could we forget you? We've grown so close. Don't feel like a bother; feel free to stay as long as you like.

But just in case you leave us, goodbye.

Goodbye, nucular weapons. Goodbye, compassionate conservatism. Goodbye, "Hispanically," "succeeding with success" and "misunderestimation."

You were all misunderstood. Thank you, George W. Bush.

Thanks for "Mission Accomplished." You are fearless, Mr. Bush, and you don't care what - or if - anybody thinks, yourself included.

Goodbye, preemptive strike. Don't mess with Texas.

And some goodbye-agains to the original crew: Colin Powell, John Ashcroft, Donald Rumsfeld - see you at Barnes & Noble. You too, Alberto Gonzalez.

Goodbye, Halliburton. Who were you? Who are you? Who cares? You keep rich people rich. Thanks.

Goodbye to you, ballots with dangling chads. We won't count you out ever again. Thank you. Who else could've turned a concession speech into eight years in office?

And thank you, Al Gore. You conceded. You changed your mind, and - you changed your mind. And we're not talking about your beard-growing decisions.

Nice sort-of comeback, Mr. Gore.

Also, we would like to say goodbye to you, economic crisis.

Sure, we know you came with good company: Mr. Bush, of course. So sorry to see you go, Mr. Crisis, if you leave with him.

The same goes to you, mortgage foreclosures. You crashed the party like no other. Don't worry; we'll miss you, too.

And high gas prices, our dear friend: You've come and gone and come and gone.

You just can't get enough of us, nor us of you.

Goodbye should you leave, and a preemptive "welcome back" should, or when, you return. We love you whether you're regular, super or premium. There's no difference.

So, goodbye, George W. Bush. You're a lucky man.

You beat the odds. You beat the popular vote.

You. Beat. John. Kerry.

You beat Saddam Hussein, and you beat the Taliban.

And you hung in there with a low approval rating.

Your time is coming, so say goodbye with us.

No more Major League Baseball opening-day pitches.

No more "Saturday Night Live" skits. No more Frank Caliendo.

You are inimitable … unimitable … unimitata - you are one of a kind, sir.

Power tie, cowboy hat or bomber jacket, you put the "W" in wardrobe.

You were the face of America to the rest of the world.

Goodbye.

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