A way of life learned from past traditions
My Nguyen
Issue date: 10/12/09 Section: Opinion
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In the Vietnamese culture, respect for parents and elders is an important virtue taught to everyone at a very young age.
My aunt started teaching my cousin how to greet her elders when she turned one.
So whenever my cousin comes to my house, she has to greet my mom, my dad, my sister and me.
She folds her arms, bows and says, "Chao ba (jow ba)," which is how you say hello with respect to the elderly.
When she does it, she is praised by my parents, but when she doesn't, my aunt spanks her.
Physical punishment is encouraged to teach children how to behave in the Vietnamese culture.
My parents started teaching me how to properly greet my elders when I started speaking around 2 years old.
My mom made sure I greeted her friends and my relatives in the appropriate way, by folding my arms and bowing. If I wasn't respectful, I was punished.
So every time I had to greet my elders, I did.
I am expected to show respect to people who are older than me in age and status.
Even if my cousin is one year older than me, I must treat her as my superior.
At home, I have to show respect to my parents and my older relatives. My uncles and my aunts are treated with respect as if they are my parents.
I am also expected to be respectful to those outside my family such as elderly people, teachers and employers.
In Vietnamese culture, respect is conveyed with function words and gestures when speaking to authority figures.
When my mom asks for me, my response would begin with a function word such as "da."
"Da" is usually translated to "yes," but in this case, it is also a function word that shows respect and doesn't necessarily mean agreement.
Nonverbal communication is an important thing in the Vietnamese culture.
Sometimes, gestures substitute for words and reinforce respect. Bowing is a way to greet people and is a sign of great respect.
Status in the Vietnamese culture is obtained with age and education, not with wealth, as it is in the U.S.
Vietnamese people value their elders because they believe older people are wise and worthy beings.
The younger Vietnamese generation is supposed to look up to its elders, so that it can learn from them and make more educated decisions in life.
I am very close to my grandfather, even though he lives in Vietnam.
We write letters to each other, and we even e-mail each other. I look up to him, and he has taught me a lot about the Vietnamese culture and religion.
Even through my e-mails and letters, I show my respect to him by properly greeting him and ending with a proper and respectful goodbye.
Respect is an important factor in the value system of the Vietnamese culture.
The Vietnamese community is known for being polite and respectful, and by continuing with what my parents have taught me, I keep that alive.
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